Shi Qingxuan stares at him, still fanning himself, and he isn't sure what to say.
Mostly because he had been operating under a completely different understanding of the situation which involved Shino and Konoha being lovers and Shino opting to relieve the discomfort and heat of Iris with someone who understands his issues more personally. (Admittedly, this started with Shi Qingxuan saying he didn't know if he could make love to Shino in that form, and that's still true... He can't just change that inadequacy.)
Now that he understands their relationship and the context behind what he initially said, a different kind of pain works its way into his chest. That time in the B-cube was truly trying for him... Even if he knew, Shi Qingxuan knows he couldn't have helped him, but to hear how helpless he felt, Shi Qingxuan still wishes he could have done more...
And between all of that helplessness, there's another thread of misunderstanding that Shi Qingxuan doesn't understand, but first things first— ]
I don't want you to spend time with people who don't want you—I always want you, so I want you to spend time with me. I want you in every form.
[ Though he can't imagine Konoha wouldn't want him. Maybe that's Shi Qingxuan's own bias, but he's not examining that now. ]
Making love is only making love if it's with someone you love. [ And now he's finally getting embarrassed, voice wavering. ] I don't know what you consider it, but if I'm with you, then it's always that.
[ That's the "certain thing" in Shi Qingxuan's very thorough definition of what qualifies as "making love."
Beyond that, though, there's that initial misunderstanding he wants to clear up. It's not that he doesn't want to make love to Shino, it's that... ]
...But I don't know how to handle that form, I really don't. I don't know how to please you. [ He fans more rapidly and his voice drops, the only two things currently letting him keep his composure. ] And you can't say that having it only one way counts! It doesn't count if I can't please you too! Even if you're fine with it, I still want to make love to you, too...
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Shi Qingxuan stares at him, still fanning himself, and he isn't sure what to say.
Mostly because he had been operating under a completely different understanding of the situation which involved Shino and Konoha being lovers and Shino opting to relieve the discomfort and heat of Iris with someone who understands his issues more personally. (Admittedly, this started with Shi Qingxuan saying he didn't know if he could make love to Shino in that form, and that's still true... He can't just change that inadequacy.)
Now that he understands their relationship and the context behind what he initially said, a different kind of pain works its way into his chest. That time in the B-cube was truly trying for him... Even if he knew, Shi Qingxuan knows he couldn't have helped him, but to hear how helpless he felt, Shi Qingxuan still wishes he could have done more...
And between all of that helplessness, there's another thread of misunderstanding that Shi Qingxuan doesn't understand, but first things first— ]
I don't want you to spend time with people who don't want you—I always want you, so I want you to spend time with me. I want you in every form.
[ Though he can't imagine Konoha wouldn't want him. Maybe that's Shi Qingxuan's own bias, but he's not examining that now. ]
Making love is only making love if it's with someone you love. [ And now he's finally getting embarrassed, voice wavering. ] I don't know what you consider it, but if I'm with you, then it's always that.
[ That's the "certain thing" in Shi Qingxuan's very thorough definition of what qualifies as "making love."
Beyond that, though, there's that initial misunderstanding he wants to clear up. It's not that he doesn't want to make love to Shino, it's that... ]
...But I don't know how to handle that form, I really don't. I don't know how to please you. [ He fans more rapidly and his voice drops, the only two things currently letting him keep his composure. ] And you can't say that having it only one way counts! It doesn't count if I can't please you too! Even if you're fine with it, I still want to make love to you, too...